


A Short Voltron Fanfic :)

by watery_melon_baller



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Cats, Crack, Dicktron, F/M, Love at First Sight, Pidge has red hair fyi, Satire, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-15 00:03:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20609561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watery_melon_baller/pseuds/watery_melon_baller
Summary: Adam is happily married to Shiro, and loves his job at his coffee shop. But when a beautiful girl walks in, everything changes...





	A Short Voltron Fanfic :)

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: this story isn't mine! its my friends, but i took it upon myself to share it with the rest of the world :)
> 
> please note that this is satire.

The sun dawned on a cold city. It was winter, and love was in the air. Snow piled by the foot of the buildings. Birds darted through the sky and rats scurried through the alleyways. All was well. All was calm.

Adam woke early. His shift was early, after all. He untangled himself from the covers where he slept with his husband Shiro. He gave him a tender kiss on the forehead before dressing and stealing away to the kitchen.

His cat, an orange tabby, brushed his leg. “Ok, ok, I’ll feed you”, he said bemusedly. The couple’s other cat, black, sat in the corner. The orange one, Lumberjack, had always gravitated towards Adam, as the black one, Commander, lauded on Shiro. They were a pair. Just as Adam and Shiro were. Smiling, Adam headed out on the short walk to the coffee shop he worked at. A nice, local place. Adam had always liked it.

He was the first there, per usual. He unlocked the door to the dark shop and set up, turning on the lights and getting the appliances ready. His coworker Coran arrived just as he was opening the shop. Eccentric, that one, thought Adam. He worked hard, though. Good intentions.

The first customers came in. Adam served them readily. But around 9, everything changed.

She was the most beautiful girl Adam had ever seen. He’d thought he was gay, but man, she was HOT. Her long red hair swished sexily down her back. She wore tight, light blue jeans that accentuated her long, thin legs and juicy ass. Her wide hips swayed as she walked. Her crop top exposed a tiny waist. Her breasts were huge, but hung effortlessly, complementing her flawless hourglass figure. Her face was all perfect, with no acne whatsoever and glimmering amber eyes peeking out from under long, dark eyelashes. Beautiful bangs covered her forehead.

They locked eyes. She instantly looked down demurely, but with a shy smile. There was no line, so she came up to order.

“Hello”, she said. Her voice was delicate, high and breathy. “Could I have a vanilla latte?”  
She smiled at him.

“Y- Yes, of course”, Adam said. His breath was taken away by this beauty. “Are you new around here?” He asked as he punched her order into the computer. He wanted to keep her talking. He loved the sound of her voice. “I haven’t seen you before.”

“Yeah”, she said with a giggle. “I just moved here. It’s all so new and exciting! I don’t really know anyone around here, though.”

“Well, you know me now”, said Adam. “If you want me to show you around, my shift ends at 4. Come back here.”

“That would be great!”, the girl said. “It was nice to meet you.”

Coran cleared his throat from behind Adam. A line was starting to form behind the girl.

“Oh, yes”, Adam said. “So, can I have a name for that order?”

“Pidge”, said the girl.

Later, Adam spoke to Coran.

“She was so beautiful!”, he exclaimed. “Just… Her hair! And that figure! And that juicy, juicy ass.” He finished in a lusty purr.

“I’m glad you made a new friend”, said Coran curtly as he drew up a mocha.

“Ouhouho”, Adam moaned. “I just want to be around her! She’s so… perfect. In every way.”

“Remember, you’re happily married to Shiro”, Coran warned.

“I know, I know”, said Adam.

They continued in silence until the end of the shift.

At 4, Adam was away. He took off his coffee shop apron and found Pidge outside. Now, she wore a yellow floral print sundress that hugged her waist and fell prettily above her knees. Twelve inch, shiny but demure pastel pink heels complemented the outfit.

“So”, she said mischievously, smiling, “Where are you taking me?”

“That’s a surprise”, Adam said, winking. He drunk in her beautiful body. It was all he could do not to throw himself right at her right then and there. They walked along the sidewalk.

“Where do you live?”, asked Adam.

“Two blocks from here. 9855 Reglus Street. Floor 4, apartment number 456.”

Adam nodded, mentally storing away that useful little tidbit. “What sort of things do you like?”

“Lots of things!” Pidge smiled. “I absolutely love makeup tutorials. And dieting. Love that. Running is fun! Though I’m a bit clumsy. Just yesterday I almost broke my plate! But I’m open to new things too.”

The pair came to a stop in front of an ornate fountain in the middle of a park. A statue of two cat, tails twined, sat atop it.  
“Wow!” Pidge exclaimed. “This is awesome. Reminds me of my cat.”

“You’re kidding!”, said Adam. “I have a cat too. She’s a sweetheart. Beautiful orange tabby. Found her off the streets.”  
“Mine too”, said Pidge. “She’s really adventurous. Curious, too.”

The two spent the rest of the afternoon talking by the fountain. They laughed and smiled. Adam grew to love her more and more. As the sky darkened, Pidge exclaimed, “Why, look at the time! I really must be going.” She rose from the fountain.

“Why end here?”, Adam purred. “We can both go to your house. I can spend the night.”  
Pidge let out a squeal of delight. “Yes!”, she cried. “That would be amazing!” She looped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes to reach. Adam smiled. All he had to do was…

He went for it. He ferociously plunged his lips into hers. Pidge groaned in delight, holding him tighter. He felt her lean into the kiss. Their tongues found each other, feeling each other over. The beautiful sunset framed the scene.

After 10 minutes straight of making out, Adam pulled away laboriously. “Shall we take this somewhere more private, my lady?”

“Yes”, she said. “We can go to my place!” But then her lovely brow furrowed. Adam didn't like seeing her stressed; it could give her wrinkles. “But wait”, she said. “My brother Matt lives with me. We’ll have to sneak past him. He wouldn’t approve of us.”

“I can handle him”, said Adam.

“No!”, squealed Pidge beautifully. “ I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Then we can sneak past him.”

“Ok, then. Let’s go.”

They covered the short walk to Pidge’s apartment. It was fully dark by the time they arrived. Adam looked up at the brick column. “So, what’s the plan?”, asked Pidge, batting her eyelashes.  
“I climb”, he said masculinely.  
“But how?”, exclaimed Pidge. “I wouldn’t want you hurt.”

“I can do it. Get to your bedroom. I will climb into the window.”

“Ok. But please, please, don’t get hurt. I couldn’t bear it if anything bad happened to you.” With that, she gave Adam a final kiss goodbye and hurried inside and up the stairs.

Pidge gone, Adam looked up at the imposing wall. He could do this. He had to do this. For Pidge. His love. He would never be happy again until he had spent the night with her.

He climbed. Finding the cracks in the wall, the gaps between brick, he scaled the building. Effortlessly. 

Just as he got up, Pidge threw open her window. “Adam!”, she cried. “I missed you so!”  
Adam vaulted himself over the windowsill, straight into Pidge’s open arms. They crashed into the bed, slotting into each other’s bodies perfectly. Clothes were thrown off as they tangled themselves in each other’s arms.

But suddenly there was a gargantuan crash. Both their heads shot up. As one, the pair ran to the window. Adam heard Pidge gasp as his jaw dropped in shock. Outside was a giant cat. It was a solid green-gray all over. “That’s my cat!”, Pidge exclaimed. “Princess!” She shouted at the cat. The cat looked at her, then turned away. And it flew. It shot into the sky. Adam was shocked to see more giant cats flying up from all over the city- 7 in total. Even more shocking, Adam recognized two of them. Two of the giant cats, a black and an orange, shot up from the same place. His apartment, he realized. They were his and Shiro’s cats!

“Oh my god”, Adam whispered. The cats reached each other in the sky. And changed. Fur warped to metal. Heads became blocky. Lion shaped. One cat, formerly blue gray, became a majestic blue lion. Another, dove gray, turned to a pink lion. The fiery red-orange cat became a red lion. A chunky yellow tabby became a yellow lion. The green gray cat, Pidge’s cat Princess, became a lithe green lion. Adam’s own cat, Lumberjack, became an orange lion. And Shiro’s black cat turned to a colossal black lion.  
Floating there, in the air above the city, the lions roared in unison. Then, an echoing, disembodied voice cried “FORM DICKTRON!”

The lions changed again. They compacted, slotting together. The blue and yellow cats- lions now- formed legs. The green- Pidge’s Princess- and red formed arms. Commander, Shiro’s black cat- now lion- formed an imposing torso and head. The pink lion slotted onto that head, forming long hair. The blue and yellow lions became legs. And Lumberjack, Adam’s own cat, attached to the figure’s crotch, forming a fat, deadly dick.

Once again, the disembodied voice spoke. “Now. Owners of these cats. Come forth, and take your place upon these beasts.”

Adam looked to Pidge, who looked to him, in shock. “What. the. Hell”, he said.  
Pidge was thoroughly terrified. “I don’t know!”, she wailed plaintively. Her voice was still beautiful and perfect. Even panic stricken, her face retained its flawlessness.

“Should we… go?”, asked Adam. He was just as surprised, but he had to be the big, strong, macho man here. He needed to take control and lead. In the back of his mind, though, one worry did nag. He would have to face Shiro. He would see his new… girlfriend? Was it to early to call this perfect flower that? No. It wasn’t. She was his. They had already known each other for a full 8 hours! And they’d even spent over 1 of them together. Yes, Adam thought, satisfied. They were certainly a thing now.  
Worries shoved aside, Adam led Pidge by the hand to the downtown square, over which this… Dicktron hovered. The crowds panicked in the streets, but Adam pushed through. Pidge followed, shockedly.

The square was even more packed than the streets. Adam shouldered his way to the center, Pidge in hand. A small circle of open space was formed in the center. Five people stood there. The first guy was tall, cuban, with brown hair and a blue sweater. Another, the only woman besides Pidge, had long, whitish hair, tall as well, with stylish black boots and a loose pink tank top, clutching a brimmed sun hat to her head. Standing besides her was an asian guy wearing a plain red v-necked shirt, with a scar and black hair, a total emo boy. The broad shouldered dude next to him, black haired and brown skinned, wore a yellow headband and apron. And beside him… Shiro.  
Shoot, thought Adam. Shiro looked down and caught his eye. “Adam!”, he cried, sweeping him up in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re safe. And here.”

Adam stood there awkwardly. He didn’t want to be near Shiro, not one bit. He wanted Pidge. He was relieved when Shiro pulled away. Shiro turned and said, “These are the other cat owners. That’s Lance”, he pointed to the cuban guy. “Allura”, pointing to the woman with whitish hair. “Keith.” The emo. “And Hunk.” The broad shouldered. Shiro turned to Pidge, whose slim hand Adam still held. “Who’s this?”, he asked, brow furrowing. Before Adam could stutter a word, the booming voice roused them again.

“You will now join Dicktron.”

People screamed and scrambled to get clear of the square as Dicktron rumbled and descended. The seven stayed put. Once Dicktron’s feet settled on the ground, It separated. Arms and legs and torso and hair and dick became lion again. The lions set down in a line. Blue, pink, red, yellow, green, black, orange.

“Step to your lion. You know which is yours”, the voice instructed.

Adam stepped to the orange one, that which had been Lumberjack. He knew that this was his. Accordingly, Shiro stepped to the black, Pidge stepped to the green, Hunk stepped to the yellow, Keith stepped to the red, Allura stepped to the pink, and Lance stepped to the blue.

Once they all stood in front of a lion, the lions crouched and opened mouths. Unquestioning, everyone stepped in as one. From there, Adam saw his cockpit, orange and simple, with only a control panel and a chair. Adam shuddered. He already missed Pidge. But he sat. And his lion whirled up into the sky.

“FORM DICKTRON”, the voice boomed. And Adam could feel as his lion morphed and attached to the crotch of the robot, becoming a juicy, powerful dick. And he knew. This was his destiny. He would forever be the dick. And with that thought, Dicktron soared into the sky, into space, past infinite stars, past infinite galaxies. Dicktron soared.

The End! Thank you for reading a Padam, Dicktron fanfic.

**Author's Note:**

> if there was an unkudos button, im pretty sure you would be pressing it. don't worry, i would be too.


End file.
